Stop and analyze, ponder, recover & repair...

I read the update of my friend's mother and think about her and my own, they are being nursed back into health. Their families do worry, prayers are needed and are so prayed. How is it that such important people in our lives, gave so much of themselves in love of family and children that they didn't take better care of themselves? So in my guilt I want to blame them? Of course, it couldn't be my fault that I didn't tell them what is better and healthier - but it was, I have always been the little boy that needed a hug and attention with my parents, even when I grew up and tough and went off to wars, I came home and blurted out the F*** word and went into personal shock at my lapse of manners. I needed a hug, and didn't know how to give one. I read Isaiah 44, and prayed and thought.

Personally, my care of self stinks and I could do so much better. Thursday I weigh 211.5 pounds, 163/84 blood pressure, heart rate 39bpm. I walk to dock. Friday I weigh 210.5 pounds, 140/88 blood pressure with heart rate of 38 bpm, I did walk to the dock. Today I weigh 212.0 pounds, blood pressure is 135/97 and my heart rate is 41 bpm. I must start exercising instead of excusing my indolence. Goal, 180 pounds of bone, muscle and a little fat for the famine...

I take my wife around, then get to pushing the lawn mower around the yard, and that should count for exercise of some kind. I lend the mower to my neighbor and he cuts his, since he is trying to sell his home and his mower is at his parents home. I rake up the clippings, the grass being too damp to bag well when cut and that does count for exercise - working the arms, shoulders and core (ha, ha). Then feeling like a real slug after a nice dinner from my wife and some fresh baked carrot cake, I do go jog - thank goodness. 359 calories, 50% from fat in my blood, average heart rate 116 bpm, in Zone for 33 minutes 11 seconds, exercise timed is 37 minutes and 53 seconds. I did find a penny on the road after having a great idea about getting my favorite boot knife out to sharpen and carry for cutting things. So I have approval for the thought, as long as I remember it later. I did get the boot knife and will clean it up and sharpen it a bit, it still has the edge I put on it years ago.

No one really reads this, so exposure is privacy...

I wake at 0415 with an angel whispering that my alarm is going off, no, my wife is still asleep - I just have to figure I am less alone than I might scientifically be certain of... I weigh 207.0 pounds, my blood pressure is 132/81 and heart rate is 42 bpm. My wife found a message for me to answer on our service from the good doctor that likes me fitting his box - lucky me he isn't a mortician. Okay, after walking to the dock and getting into work, waiting until the remainder of our time zone gets into work and opens the doors, I call and find out that I need to pick up a prescription and schedule an appointment in three weeks for another blood test. I am falling apart faster than I am willing to pay for.

Seems I have Hypothyroidism and my doctor wants me to take Levoxyl to make me more better, and there goes my illusion of perfection. I shouldn't complain, my doctor is a really nice guy, pretty proficient and has this really great nurse working with him that I always love to see, yes she is cute, but I like her because she weilds the needles so well when drawing blood. Seems that last blood test said my EGFR was low (56) and my TSH, 3rd Generation was high (14.88). So I will have to look that information up but I assume that it means I am going to die, and I should have all the symtoms: fatigue, mental depression, sluggishness (how did they know I am almost always a slug?), feeling cold (riding motorcycles in this weather - isn't everyone?), weight gain (and I thought it was hibernation fat), dry skin and hair, constipation (not this apple eating maniac), and a very feminine problem which I know I don't have.

This does give me the opportunity to goof off today, practice with the choir and go to bed early after a hot shower. Tomorrow I pick up the medicine and get my take home keys inventoried.

Burned it all out...

Fevered dreams and sweaty sheets by morning the sinus, cold is gone driven away in the night. I am pleased. Tomorrow I will pick my training up again for today I need to adjust all my other stuff. My Triumph needs chain lube, and some cleaning. My bills need attention and paying, my library has two days of work to get started on and the Public Library Human Resources does deserve a return call so we can discuss my future - always good to think one has a future. I weigh 205.5 pounds, blood pressure is 130/83 with a resting heart rate of 38 bpm.