Things are getting better, or so I think...

09/20/08 Weigh 205.5 pounds, blood pressure 143/98, heart rate 39 bpm.

09/21/08 Weigh 208.5 pounds, blood pressure 132/76, heart rate 38 bpm.

09/22/08 weigh 208.0 pounds, blood pressure 157/89, heart rate 37 bpm.
Jog 365 calories, 45% fat, Hr 117 bpm, Zone 31m57s, Exercise 37m50s.

I think stopping the medication is having an effect, and my body seems to be going through adjustments, I am not exercising, stretching nor doing enough but I have started on the Procrastination Pile, so some stresses should disappear - not as fast as my money seems to have flown, but I am making progress.

Stomach is quiverin' like jello,,

07/30/08 weigh 204.5 pounds, went to work, left early went to ALL STAFF DAY PICNIC! lovely ladies everywhere and I got lots of motorcycle riding in to and from and they will give me travel pay for it! Yahoo!

07/31/08 weigh 206.5 pounds, blood pressure is 117/92 with a heart rate of 31 bpm. W2D

08/01/08 weigh 203.5 pounds, blood pressure is 137/80 heart rate is 37 bpm. W2D in the very light rain.

Wife thinks I am getting a pot belly, best figure out where all my motivation and discipline went, it is sadly lacking. I must motivate and get off the electronic death cycle - do I need to check email that often?

Oh, I don't think so and I do think I can do better.

Motivation! How does that work?

Sunday weight 207.5 pounds, bicycle to church and back, that is different.

Monday weight 207.5 pounds, blood pressure 115/92, heart rate 32 bpm. Do 25 reps of the basic three, a couple of chin ups and hangs, go jog the shortest course 326 calories burnt, 50% of them Fat, Hr 111, Zone 25 minutes 3 seconds, Exercise 38 minutes 25 seconds, walk to the dock.

Tuesday son is home, weight 206.0 pounds, blood pressure 133/83, heart rate 41 bpm. Do 2 Chin ups, 30 reps of the basic three, two more chin ups. Go jog with son. 410 calories burnt, 30% Fat, Hr 131 bpm, Zone 21 minutes 27 seconds, Exercised 34 minutes 14 seconds, only because he was doing it so easily and I was so old and trying to prove I could keep up. Barely, just barely.

Trying to do it without numbers... but...

Tuesday weight 204.5 pounds
Wednesday weight 205.0 pounds
Thursday weight 204.5 pounds, blood pressure 119/94, heart rate of 38 bpm.
Friday weight 204.5 pounds, blood pressure 148/80, heart rate of 39 bpm.
Saturday weight 202.0 pounds, blood pressure 130/76, heart rate of 47 bpm.

Going to the YMCA with my wife, going to second welcome of 4th Brigade 2nd Inf Division at 2:30 local, was at this mornings at 12:30 am - 240 returned after fourteen months. I was with the PGRs, and wasn't chilled nor wet until I got home and tried to sleep. Good stuff is really great!

Starting my life again, today, repeat the best...

Only have one life, and some things work and others don't. I weigh 206.5 pounds today, blood pressure is 112/78 with a heart rate of 25 bpm, not believing that I do it again and get 108/71 with a heart rate of 34 bpm. I give up do devotions, mindlessly wander my favorite blogs which I checked about eight hours earlier, not much has changed, time to load - I would do better with feeds, or not checking. Kim has lots of his pictures of their trip to Germany, so cool, I was there once. My wife wakes and I do my fifty reps while she sips coffee and gets ready to start the day.

When my wife is ready we go to the YMCA, I do twenty-five minutes on rowing 5K, 20 minutes on some strange stepper strider, ten minutes on another and then a couple minutes on a bicycle. Done for today. Back home we get lunch, too much rice, but everything else is perfect. I go off to shoot, and lucky I brought a box of ammunition, for they had sold all the 9mm before I arrived. So I put up my target on the seven yard line, twenty-one feet and find that my first shot touched the x, and it was down hill from there. Still for forty-two bullets, fired six at a time, one magazine to reload while resting, not too many missed the black. Next time I will just go to the tweny yard pistol line.

Back home after picking up fuel and I cut the grass, my wife washes the cars - she wasn't supposed to do mine, but it was there and she did while I finished the cutting and putting stuff away in the shed.

Monday morning blues...

I weigh 206.0 pounds (better), blood pressure is 141/76 with a heart rate of 51 bpm, seems my wife woke at three and was determined to flip the mattress for better sleep in her future and so we did, then remade the bed. Breakfast of blueberry pancakes and syrup, slice tomato and coffee. I check on the rain - yes, rain. No motorcycling today, get the new post stickers tomorrow and so I sit and go through the procrastination pile, paying the bills and recording the ATM and Debit card payments, I also check the Lotto, Hit 5 and Mega Millions, none hit this time, sigh. Our recycle can is on the curb and it rains. Did I mention that it rains?

Disrespect of self, no tattoos but globs of fat...

Sunday I weigh 207.0 pounds, blood pressure is 115/77 with a heart rate of 42 bpm, so I did well on the YMCA visit on Saturday. I then eat at church, not a problem, and take home two loaves of bread, which will become a problem, I am only one man eating for three or more when I consume one of the loaves. And I am not exercising during the day - for no good reason. So today I weigh 209.5 pounds, blood pressure is 124/91 and heart rate of 40 bpm. I read about tattoos on beautifyl women that don't understand they didn't need it. Well, tomorrow I could be a better person, or I could start as soon as I turn this computer off and start my life.

Missed BAG day, sigh, I have enough already...

So we woke late, I have a doctor's appointment at 10:45 AM, I weigh 208.5 pounds, blood pressure is 130/78 with a heart rate of 37 bpm, resting waiting for the rev'n up. I knock out 3 half chin ups, and do the fifty reps of the basic three. Then I wander the internet, looking for shoulder holsters and current blog thoughts.

At the doctor's I get the big American nurse, she isn't gentle and the needle gets the blood anyway - when I really hurt I will be asking for my favorite nurse. The doctor comes, chats checks my blood pressure twice, his nurse has already done it once. Wonders if there have been any reactions to the medication - I tell him I am blaming everything on it - especially the weight gain, but he knows I am kidding. He does expect it will make my heart rate faster, and he expected the night sweats that first week - but he never told me.

I stop and look at shoulder holsters at the gun shop, find something that would work well, but don't buy it this time. Measurements are very important, and I want to be a skinny kid again but a slimmer old fellow is about all my future holds. Home to watch Marvin and Bronson in "Death Hunt" which makes me want to take my old body out on the road. Since the Sun has broken through I could overdose on Vitamin D!!! Yeah! 454 calories 35% fat ones, Heart rate 128 bpm, Zone 19 minutes 38 seconds, Exercise 40 minutes 33 seconds. Seems my heart was racing or the monitor was hearing echoes when I started jogging. But the forty minutes is more important than the Zone. My foot was limping for a bit, but settled well and painlessly into the jog about the time my heart got right in rhythm...

I had an interesting 'hot' spot yesterday on the way to work, thought I had been lased on my left arm/elbow. I ignored it, but later in the Library I had that warm feeling same spot again - nothing I could see nor understand - just another mystery in my universe - like women, I won't ignore them but will never understand them either.

tuesday, garbage day and it goes out...

I wake from dreams of being a Command Sergeant Major at a major parade function where I know none of the officers, my wife is there and then ignored and off as I move out to give commands to the Division (pretty impressive), I stop and look at my weapons, I seem to have two - an M16 and some super black and plastic almost spaceage rifle with slim silver colored cartridges. I am cleaning it and the ammunition. I find nothing strange about having weapons and ammunition at a parade - I had it when I was younger, old man's dreams feel the same.

I wake and take my medications, resupplied on the run to Fort Lewis yesterday, I was 210 pounds then, blood pressure was 138/78 and heart rate of 42 bpm. Today I am 208.5 pounds with a blood pressure of 155/132 and a heart rate of 28 bpm, so I take it again and get 149/91 with a heart rate of 39 bpm. I am alive. The garbage is gathered and put out and I have devotions, there are many people in nursing and hospitals that need God's touch and support for the families, every prayer helps. I have gruel and my wife has rice soup with her half of the banana and English muffin. We aren't cutting costs by halving the food, just sharing it for the space it will leave in the bellies, stuffed is for teddy bears. I write three checks and put them and the bills into envelopes and delay just a bit my exercises for the morning and the treadmill, the constant rain is going to keep me off the motorcycle today and the jogging joyously on the road... but I must adapt or become a fatter old man.

I found last night that my left foot is developing a mirror pain to the one in my right foot, which to me means it probably isn't due to the motorcycle crushing it, but could be aging badly - only whiskey and cheese seems to improve with age. I am not either... nor improving I knock out forty repetitions of the basic three, because I can and am determined to be less than I should be. One is hardest on oneself when being critical. So I go to jog on the treadmill looking about the wall, unfinished, for fifteen minutes for my heart and the children. 152 calories, 40% fat ones, average heart rate 122 bpm, in Zone 12 minutes 55 seconds, Exercised 15minutes 3 seconds. I am a little better man for that, thank the Lord.

Survival is important to the living...

As I get older and older and really older I often think about quality of life - being old isn't great if you feel that you are truly falling apart faster than you can heal and recover. Watching Bob Woodruff covering the recovering vets from IEDs in Iraq and knowing there are real people inside those minds and bodies that are struggling to regain funciton, full function -- and there are some fat clerks telling them that medical, mental and financial support isn't authorized in the quantity or quality needed. Well, I like to think that many will recover and get better because they are young and struggling, something like that happening to me or someone elder might just close us down, our lives have been lived and it is over, thank God.

Breda covers another dead woman, attacked & destroyed by something ugly and probably predatory male. Wondering if we will ever learn and telling women to fight back, although the PC crowd says stay inside, travel in groups and carry a whistle. I like to think you should carry a boot knife, pointed, double edged, one piece (not a folder nor switch blade, butterfly type), blade between three and a half inches to five depending on your body size. And one would hope you know where to stick it - don't slash, stick it in many times making many holes to bleed from. The Roman Legions won battles sticking their slashing enemies. They lost an empire when they decided to allow someone else to protect them and fight their wars (government inaction and lack of personal responsibility). I also recommended a .45 cal derringer they really come in various calibers and sizes, and again must be practiced with and then used in time of danger, like immediately-- there isn't any talking ugly out of bad behavior, shoot the cur. The pistol becomes a problem of current anti-gun legislation but then they don't really care if you live or die - just that you obey their laws (government in action & inaction, a 2fer!).

Martial arts are good, for physical fitness and sport, and if you get real serious about it to kill or disable the ugly fool... but that is a lot of serious and lots of work and most will never get that far. I am at the age that I want to start my Aikido training, but haven't found the time, place nor instructor to lead me - in other words I am not really serious, yet.

Weight this morning 205.0 pounds, blood pressure 122/75 with a heart rate of 49 bpm. My friend asked if I hurt after running on Saturday, and I said 'No', and he said I hadn't worked out hard enough - but I don't think one has to hurt to progress; maybe do more, do it faster, do it unbalanced and different - but I don't think pain is important as a gage of progress, only in one's limits. I do knock out fifty reps of the basic three, bent leg situps, push ups, and squats - the minimum every human should do daily. So little to ask. Speaking of asking, honey-do's need done. Done, and now do I ride the motorcycle or jog for my heart - responsibility again rules - I jog. The Sunshine is great, fifty-four degrees, I watch the motorcycles throb past me, sigh. I am on a mission: 626 kcal and forty percent of that fat burned, average Heart rate 119 bpm, in zone 54 min 11 seconds, exercise time total one hour and fifty-seven seconds. I passed a heart walker, he said he hasn't seen me in awhile, I told him I was old and lying to myself about it being too wet, too cold and just too awful to go jog in...

The only pain I really worry over is that big one waiting, in the left arm or center of my chest - Dad said it felt like a mule kicked him when he had his, and he was farm boy enough to know how that would have felt. It's in the genes, and my jeans, ya know? I get more like that picture every day in every way.